A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pity Party


Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.

~ Annie Besant

So, there I was.  Being all boo-hoo and woe-is-me. Some of you saw what I was trying to get at and came alongside.  Others of you called bullshit.  Maybe not here, to my face.  But you did it just the same.

And then there was Lisa.  A comrade!  A fellow traveler of this lonely road.  Her comment on that post took my breath away.  How common is it to find a first-time reader who leaves such thoughtful, engaging and empathetic words?

My other first thought?  Great.  Another online companion.  Someone with whom I could break the real-life bread of fellowship if only miles and miles didn’t separate us.

Don’t hear that wrong.  Please.  I have many friends that I’ve never met who rock my world.  We chat on the effbooks.  We exchange emails and Christmas cards.  You start Spotify playlists for me.  We get along swimmingly, and I count you as part of a growing list of people I call friends.  And not because Mark Zuckerberg gave me permission to do so.  In fact, I choose not to use the word “virtual”  for you are a real person, with blood and bile and brains that house a tender soul.

And so I naturally wondered if perhaps Lisa was one such online friend and I failed to make the connections.  Only, to my great surprise, it wasn’t just any Lisa.  It was Danira!  She of the Big Fucking Sword!  The Yin to my Yang!  The Gwyneth Paltrow to my Jack Black!

With whom I’ve spent glorious months riding a boat and thwarting the best-laid plans of pirates and leviathans alike.  With whom I’ve ridden horseback upon the winter-ravaged planes of western Immoren stoking the fires of giant war machines.  She who saved my ass in a tavern once, and fought valiantly against an undead librarian while I waited in the hallway perusing books about the restorative-yet-hallucinogenic properties of hooaga leaves.

Dexter Duchovic’s long-lost love had sent a flare over my wreck and rescued me.

We ended up chatting for an hour or so and then agreed to meet up with our respective SOs for coffee before the holidays run out.  And the best part?  She’s relocating from the impossibly faraway north side of town down to my neck of the woods, as the crow flies.  Where her woman-cave awaits, with a mini-fridge and a real table and folding chairs, and possibly a couch for when we get tired and need to crash for a few minutes.  And shelf after shelf of books for mining and tweaking.  And her maniacal cackle as she initiates, upon some stupid adventuring decision, like choosing to lift the lid off some not-so-random and yet completely out-of-place toilet, that rite of all great Dungeon Masters – the Total Party Kill.

Lisa and I, we did what friends do.  To borrow and turn an old phrase, we played ping pong over the abyss of our sorrows.  We laughed amidst the pain.  And we agreed to make it through together . . .

[Flickr photo is by abdul / yunir and is protected]

4 thoughts on “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pity Party

  1. This makes me laugh! Since you asked me to, I’ll recount an episode that didn’t really show Dexter off to best advantage.

    We were exploring a…dungeon, or maybe it was a cave under a mountain. Those details are hazy (it’s been years!). So anyway, our intrepid party of adventurers finally managed to unlock a door and enter. There was a marble slab with chains. There were assorted stalactites and stalagmites. And there was a succubus. She attempted to charm us, but Danira was having none of it, and the dwarf paladin just rolled his eyes and unsheathed his axe. But Dexter? Dexter was suddenly and completely under her spell. In fact, he walked over to the marble slab and climbed up on it, and invited her to chain him up. Danira was Not Happy with him. Or the succubus.

    Now, it just so happened that a few rooms before, Danira had picked up a lovely piece of worked metal, that turned out to be part of the dagger hilt to the dagger she’d been carrying for a month or two. Danira already knew that the dagger was magical–because she had inadvertently (but happily!) disembowled a bandit who was trying to kill her, when the dagger caused a fiery explosion in his crotch. And given the way this spiece of jeweled metal she’d just picked up found her dagger like a magnet and welded to the hilt, she suspected that said dagger had acquired another interesting property.

    So of course she had to test it on the succubus. It froze her, and then exploded her. At which point Danira berated Dexter and told him to get up off the damn table. Harumph.

    1. I was in complete control of the situation. I was simply distracting her for you . . .


      1. My favorite memory of Danira was when we talked her into going into the odd corridor first, much against her will, whereupon she got caught in some sort of accelerating, spinning trap, while we had to stop laughing long enough to try and help her, all the while listening to her threats.

  2. This makes me glad. I was worried about Lisa.

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