Darcy’s Ass!

From the Teachable Moment file:

My nine-year-old son came home today with an assignment – to find out why tomorrow is a special day.

He knew it was Veteran’s Day.


She Who Must Be Obeyed: “And what is a veteran?”

Beefcake: “Duh. That’s the person who takes care of animals!”

Since no one in our family, immediate or distant, is currently serving in the military, we chalked that one up to unintentional ignorance. A dictionary search and a pleasant conversation later, and he’s good to go.

From the Don’t Dance! I Dare You! File:

Ever go into a music store and just browse? I do this on occasion. I’ll have a few discretionary dollars burning a hole in my pocket and inevitably find myself driving to Best Buy to find something totally new. Some of the best stuff I’ve ever purchased made it into my CD player this way. And this past week’s gem is the album What’s the Rumpus? by the Irish Celtic band Gaelic Storm. The title and the cover art intrigued me, so I plopped down $15.00 and set to peeling all that annoying shrink wrap off.

I haven’t had this much fun doing the jig since the last time I tried to pull on my long underwear. (Note to self: If you’ve just taken a shower, it helps to dry off completely.) Of course, you’ve seen these guys before . . . they were the steerage band in Titanic. That was their big break, and they haven’t slowed down since.

So, for your listening pleasure, please turn your speakers WAY up and give the song “Darcy’s Donkey” a listen . . .

Twas up the Bluestack mountains, D’arcy kept a bit of a still.
We were sneaking home a bottle, when the guards came up the hill.
“Lose the booze” cried D’arcy! And before we could reply,
he’d dumped it in the nosebag of his donkey standing by.
The donkey had a ganky leg, and only one good eye.
When he got a lick of the whiskey, well you’d swear that he could fly.
He rocketed through the roundabout, and down by Jamesie’s bar,
then he vaulted through the hedges at the track at Ballintra

Here’s to you, to me and one and all
To the garda, and the gargle, and the trophy on the wall
Here’s to you, to me and one and all
The day that D’arcy’s drunken donkey won the race at Donegal

The garda chased the donkey, and we followed in pursuit.
For fear they’d spill the whiskey, we begged them not to shoot.
We barreled through the turnstiles we got there just in time,
to place our bets before the lot of ’em reached the starting line.
The flag was up the race was on, the donkey looked behind.
He saw the guards were after him but sure he didn’t mind.
He had himself another sip and a second one as well,
then he bucked and kicked and knocked the competition all to hell.

Here’s to you, to me and one and all
To the garda, and the gargle, and the trophy on the wall
Here’s to you, to me and one and all
The day that D’arcy’s drunken donkey won the race at Donegal

The donkey passed the post about a lap or two ahead.
He finished off the whiskey and then toppled over dead.
We went to check the bets and found when everything was done,
the garda came in second and paid 35 to one!
So we dragged the donkey’s carcass down to Jamesie’s for a pint,
to drink up all our winnings, and to celebrate the night.
We missed the poor old Donkey, but still we had to laugh,
when Jamesie made a trophy of the Donkey’s better half.

So raise a beer in the air, to that famous derriere!
Everybody raise a glass to D’arcy’s ass! D’arcy’s ass!

I bet you danced . . . or at least smiled. If not, well, call the coroner ’cause you’re as dead as Darcy’s Ass!

So, do tell . . . what’s the best musical gem you’ve ever discovered?


11 thoughts on “Darcy’s Ass!

  1. i love celtic music anyway-

    but this song is a cute drinking song…

    Reminds me of Stewball…a song my step mother played when I was little…

    Old Stewball was a racehorse,
    and I wish he were mine,
    he never drank water,
    he always drank wine….

    Remember it? it was a little before our time…

  2. Okay, ‘cuz, you got me with that one. I LOVE Celtic music and I found myself singing along. Chalk it up to my Scotch/Irish heritage.

    One musical gem was actually from, a musical. Jekyll and Hyde came through Dallas twice many years ago and I was able to see both shows – one was a preview that was drastically superior to the reworked version that followed it a few years later. Song was “In His Eyes”, and was a duet between the two women that were in love with the same man – one with Henry Jekyll and the other with Edward Hyde. They were dressed in white and black respectively, but the same song was staged very differently between both shows.

    Hope things are well, and happy (belated) birthday!

  3. Jane – Stewball doesn’t ring any bells. I’ll have to Google it . . .

    Cuz – I’ve always loved the story of Jekyll & Hyde, so I did some digging. I found an .mp3 version at Amazon from the Jekyll & Hyde Resurrection soundtrack, and the vocals are indeed haunting. Thanks for the suggestion . . .

  4. Stan Freberg – Pass the Udder Udder!

  5. I have two favorite Irish groups – Clannad, and their album “Dulaman”, with the spritely but dark “Two sisters” on it, and The Chieftains, namely their album with Van Morrison that has “Star of The County Down” and “Cerrickfergus” on it. Kate Bush’s “Hounds of Love” also has a nice Irish feel and always is on our playlist this time of year.
    Tis definitely the season for a bit of the Gael!

  6. When I was about 16 or 17 I discovered the magic that is Herb Alpert. I picked up “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” and boy, I thought that was the cheesiest, yet most exciting music. My friends and I blasted that out the speakers of my friend’s Lincoln Mark V (1979) and we thought we were so awesome. Ahh, to be 17 again.

  7. Hysterical song! I love celtic music anyway, so this was right up my alley.

    I’m also a music junkie, and finding new music, or newly discovered old music is one of my favorite things ever. One of my favorite discoveries was a record called “House Carpenters Daughter” Natalie Merchant released it, and while I’ve always liked her, and her music isn’t “new” to me as such, this little gem of folk songs became a fast favorite.

    Great post! Thanks for the song. 🙂

  8. First things first…now that you are steaming hot with your new brow, do you think you could lose the long underwear? Titanic was a period piece set amidst icebergs. I realize you have winter there but c’mon…a little calvin klein never hurts a guy who sometimes begs! This advice, free from singleforareason!!

  9. Love the “veteran” definition – very funny! I can completely go there with him. Makes sense!

    The music’s great. Thanks for the recommend, and now I have pep in my step this morning! There’s got to be a better way to package CDs though – the wrap, the long, sticky tape. It’s exhausting.

  10. You know how when you are in the middle of something and you are thinking ahead? The whole beginning I was curious about the garda. If the donkey jumped the fence and the garda followed, wouldn’t the garda be running the race as well? Imagine my delight when my theory was confirmed in latter stanzas! Excellent example of FORESHDOWING. Tee hee.

    You know that somewhere these guys were hanging out and a barmaid named Darcy…well, you get the idea. I’m going to bet the entire song is a pun. About buns. (Sigh – that rhyme didn’t work out too well, did it?)

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