I Want My MDX

Michael writes, and posts some amazing photos, @ Always Going, Going, Going on Beyond.  He wrote this piece for me a few weeks ago, before there was a theme.  It’s like he saw it coming . . .

I just signed out a Wayne Dyer book from the library this week. He’s like the wise grandfather I never had. I’m attracted by the secular/spiritual quality of his teaching. He doesn’t claim to be of any particular religion, but everything he says seems to put a layman’s voice to many of the ideas I’ve come across in my study of Buddhism. He is open and accepting of all faiths as he pulls together his own version of how spirituality can help us deal with the suffering that “flows through life like water” (Nick Cave).

My library book, due back on September 30th, is called It’s Not What You’ve Got! Lessons for Kids on Money and Abundance. I found it by accident when I was searching for ideas on how to introduce an allowance to my children and teach them how to be smarter with money than their old man was (is).

Well, I am improving. A couple weeks ago I said “no” to buying a 2005 Acura MDX. I still feel a deep longing for it whenever I picture myself on those golden leather seats behind that luxurious cockpit with a million buttons. I can still feel the exclusive warmth of the country club sun beaming approval on me through the moonroof. And that damn gas pedal that gave me shivers when I stomped it down filling myself with a morphine-like euphoria after I pulled over to let the rush subside.

My coach asked me today what I felt when I drove that car and my answer was POWERFUL. And that led to a discussion about how I need to have power over my life and not have to kiss the ass of whoever happens to be bending over in front of me at the time. (This negative perception of interacting with my working world has been hardwired in me by a combination of nature and nurture.) I had (have) all kinds of rational excuses for buying that car, but I just couldn’t put the key in my pocket because I don’t want to make car payments for another five years. Especially when my homely C-RV only costs me gas and works like Black Beauty with one of his good owners. No, I wanted that car because I wanted to feel like I was successful. Not later. Now.

I still attach material abundance to my definition of success and I have much to learn about building my self-esteem to the point that I don’t need artificial stimuli to make me love myself.

There are ten lessons in Dyer’s book:

1. You’re not what you’ve got!
2. Live within your means.
3. It doesn’t matter what “they” have.
4. You have the power to get what you want.
5. Money does not create happiness.
6. Every job is important.
7. Follow your own dreams.
8. There is plenty for everyone, including you!
9. You earned it — enjoy it!
10. Abundance means more than money.

I’m going to tackle these lessons personally over the next few months and see if I can’t get myself to a healthier place in life. I sure as hell can’t preach the ideas to my boys if I’m going out buying whatever I want.

Readers could expect there to be a pile of whining if I decide to work though these themes on my blog: Man, it would be fantastic to burn down the highway in that kick-ass MDX. I don’t care if it’s an illusion. What’s wrong with paying $400 per month if it makes me happy? Life’s short, I should enjoy it now!

Some things just need time to work out. Like a big forehead zit, a rotten third-eye with a dime-size island of arterial inflammation surrounding it — a neon aura broadcasting the painful pus-volcano like a vacancy sign on the only motel in town. At two o’clock in the morning.

If I blog about this, I’ll try to make my zip-popping entertaining. Feel free to mock, pity, or encourage me.

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4 thoughts on “I Want My MDX

  1. Sigh. Man, I struggle with this like it’s a 300 pound wrestler. (BTW, I read “kiss the ass” as “KICK the ass of whoever happens to be bending over. It was a whole new side of Michael…) I applaud your efforts to get your stuff together, and to pass that togetherness on to the kids. Incredible restraint, my friend.

  2. It’s so weird seeing myself through the eyes of others. Thanks Brian. I still have a substantial longing for that car. Every time I see one cruising through town. But, it is shrinking and I have a picture of it in my dream-life file. It will be mine some day.

    M

    p.s. Nice header photo! Again, through the eyes of others.

  3. Interesting that your search for a way to introduce allowance to your children led to this much broader lesson on money, debting, abundance, and even something like power. Maybe it’s the times.

    I grew up with Depression-era parents, who have poverty in their DNA. I have said many times that poverty gets passed down regardless of how much money you eventually have. I have built a life of wealth, and still I live with skepticism of abundance. It is a lesson I constantly work on.

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