There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

~ Robert Frost

Settle down there, Bob. My wife reads my blog. She’s going to read what you said and agree with you, for she has this notion that she can’t cook.

Hogwash.

I assure you, Dear Tweaker, no one residing within the friendly confines of The Cheeky Mansion is starving.

Sure her meals sometimes lack creativity; when you’re catering to the likes of four busy and opinionated kids and a husband who simply can’t eat like he used to, the same tired standbys are sometimes about the best she can manage to muster.

I said “sometimes” above because, truth be told, my wife is incredibly creative: she’s a scrapbooker; her flower beds blossom vividly and her vegetable gardens spring forth an annual harvest of awesomely good goodness; she crafts meaningful, poignant cards and attractive yet practical gifts for teachers, neighbors, relatives and friends. She’s busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

The total mama package.

And occasionally, when time permits and the cupboards abound, she serves up a truly inspiring meal. So, for your dining pleasure, I give you last night’s entrée:

Friendly Fish Filets

Ingredients

¾ pound white fish (grouper or cod)
¾ cup all-purpose flour
½ cup buttermilk
¾ cup crumbs (she used Wheat Thins) ground in a food processor or a rolling pin
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh parsley
1 ½ tablespoons canola oil
Can of canola oil cooking spray

Preparation

1. Cut fish fillets into four even pieces (about 3 ½ x 3 ½ inches each). Rinse and dry well.

2. Place the flour in a small bowl and the buttermilk in another small bowl. In a medium shallow bowl, stir together cracker crumbs, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and fresh parsley to blend.

3. Dip each fish square first into the flour, then the buttermilk, then the cracker crumb mixture.

4. Place a medium, nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat. Spread canola oil on the bottom and add the fillets. Use canola cooking spray to generously coat the tops of the fillets. Fry until the bottoms are golden brown, about 3 minutes, then carefully flip with a spatula and brown the other side – about 2 minutes more.

If your family is large, like mine, feel free to double the recipe. Also, my wife claims that tinkering with the seasoning mix might yield something altogether different, yet equally deee-lish. We had our filets on buns with lettuce leaves, slices of cheese (pick one you like) and tartar sauce . . .

By the way!

Dear Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Kroger Supermarket Product Packaging Designer Person,

You, sir, or ma’am, are an imbecile!

Please take a moment to read the ingredients label for your brand of tartar sauce, whereupon you’ll notice the word “Relish.” Relish which, also according to your list, contains chunks of stuff like cucumbers and red bell peppers.

Chunks!

Which are not easily squirted through this masterpiece of a lid . . .

Do all us paying customers, who are weary from fighting and squeezing and pounding, a favor and redesign the damn thing!

Please?!

Respectfully,

The Cheek

[photo credit]